To my child:
The months after you were born were tough ones.
You cried a lot and slept little.
Your assessment of this bright, new world was decidedly unsatisfactory. In between fussing though, you offered just enough syrupy, middle-of-the-night smiles to melt away the challenges and make me want to buy you a pony, or anything else your tiny heart desired.
But for much of your first months, I felt frantic. I scoured the internet, trying to understand what was causing your dissatisfaction. Were you allergic to my breast-milk? Gassy? Overtired?
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image by Marina Vitale via Unsplash
I would like to talk to you more about ppd/anxiety as I am going thru this myself.i read your story and I’m joining a support group.
Thank you. Your words are my experience too and it is incredible to read your work.
So many well-wishing friends and relatives would suggest I’m holding my little girl too much, giving her too many feeds, that I need to let her just have a good cry without running to her every whim but I knew something was different about my babe compared to others. She was my first and yet I just felt a similarity between her needs and what was never fulfilled in me – our highly sensitivity-ness.
I first heard of Elaine Arron after my daughter was born when my amazing step-mother suggested my little girl and I are both highly sensitive and for me to read Elaine’s book.
God-send.
My daughter is 7 now. We returned to school today after a 2 week break for school holidays. She noticed all of the subtle and not so subtle changes in her classroom. She noted the relief teacher and the children and the colours and the shapes and the smells and the overall vibe and energy of everyone – and this was all within the first 30 seconds of walking in the room.
She is incredible but she feels her differences. She is also dyslexic (a new diagnosis) and the two combined mean we have big emotional breakdowns and her self-esteem is being chipped away whenever she feels like her way is different. I’m working really hard to turn her thinking around to being that her different way of doing things, is actually her super power.
So much love and hugs to you ?
Thank you Annette for your comment! Your daughter sounds amazing. I hear you on the big emotions– we have a lot of those around our house, too. It can be so hard to remember this sensitivity is a super power, and while it is in some ways a gift to be a sensitive parent of a sensitive child, it can also be a struggle. SO MANY FEELINGS! Hugs to you.